Frequently asked questions.
These questions draw on guidance for educators, students, families, and community partners. They are a starting point for understanding and addressing bullying.
What is bullying?
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power, and it is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Most definitions agree on three things: an imbalance of power, an intent to cause harm, and repetition.
What do bullies do?
Bullying can be direct or indirect. Direct bullying includes hitting, tripping, shoving, name calling, insults, and demanding money or property. Indirect bullying is harder to spot and includes excluding or isolating someone, humiliating them in front of others, spreading rumors, manipulating friendships, and sending hurtful or threatening messages online.
What are the warning signs?
A child who is being bullied may be reluctant to go to school, go quiet about their day, come home with lost or damaged belongings, struggle with schoolwork, or seem withdrawn, anxious, or low. A child who is bullying others may get into frequent fights, put others down, need to control or dominate, disregard rules, or have unexplained new belongings. These signs can point to other issues too, so treat them as a reason to ask gentle questions.
Do both boys and girls bully?
Yes. Boys tend to bully in more direct, physical ways, while girls more often use indirect methods, and some children use both. A child can be both a target and a bully at the same time. Everyone at a school, parents included, shares responsibility for recognizing and stopping bullying.
What should I do if my child is bullied?
Stay calm, so your child knows you are upset at the situation, not at them. Let them know it is not their fault and that you are glad they told you. Ask open-ended questions, encourage new friendships, and brainstorm nonviolent ways to handle it. Document what happened, report it to the school, and work with them on a safe path forward. Above all, help build your child's resilience for the future.
How do I report bullying to the school?
Start through the school's chain of command, usually the classroom teacher. If it is not resolved, notify the principal in writing, sticking to the facts, and copy the superintendent. Include any documentation you have, such as notes, messages, or reports. If it is still unresolved, the next steps are the superintendent and then the elected school board.
What can communities do about bullying?
Bullying is a community problem, not only a school one. Community members can report incidents, join bullying-prevention or safe-school committees, mentor children, support families whose children are affected, model good character, and partner with schools and organizations to encourage positive behavior and respect for differences.